Confusing headline, but let me explain:
I was once sent on a management course where personality types were discussed. Instead of calling them sanguine, melancholic etc the lecturer named different animals in order to make it relatable and easy to remember.
I am a Zebra – I am an obsessive compulsive, highly organised individual who lives my life according to lists and steps. I need to follow processes to the letter and have extensive to do lists. I plan my life down to the minute detail and get upset when plans are suddenly changed. Spontaneity is not in my vocabulary.
This description could not be more apt if they tried. I am so Type-A it’s not even funny. How does this tie in with my pregnancy journey? Well, would you like to see my note book?
When I said I was in the planning stages I wasn’t kidding. I have spent the past few months planning, and refining that plan making tweaks here and there; putting a contingency plan in place so I don’t lose my mind if things don’t happen right away. It’s scary.
I have my notebook on hand all the time and I jot things down in it that I want to remember, research more of later, ideas and things I like, tips, tricks, whatever I feel is important. It is full of things from paint colours for the nursery to nutrition, exercise ideas, websites and telephone numbers to my list of names and predicted due dates. The internet is a scary place that lets you live out any fantasy – it’s the ultimate enabler!
A big part of the problem is that I have been sitting with this too long. As a result I am overthinking everything! I am a huge over thinker. I sit and stew on problems that never get solved because I think myself in circles. It’s one of my worst traits and one that annoys even myself.
It’s the problem with being a planner and still being rational. I’m realistic to know that not everything will go according to plan nor will my body simply obey my command; yet I simply cannot help myself and find myself obsessing on the details.
I think I need help! I can imagine my husband saying to our child one day “Its ok, mommy’s crazy.” I can also imagine what those sleepless nights are going to be like with me planning this little person’s life out down to the minute detail.
I really need to learn to let it go *bursts into song* (I love that movie so much!)
Am I the only one out there with these issues?